Mayor Jeff: "Ducking Out on Valentine's Day"

(The scene focuses in on Ernest, who appears to be punching some figures into a calculator. Ootsie and Bootsie pull up on a boat attached to a large freight vessel.)

Ootsie and Bootsie: Mr. Otter!

Ernest: (waving) Good morning, Ootsie! Good morning, Bootsie!

Ootsie: You're so right, Mr. Otter.

Bootsie: It is a good morning.

Ootsie: To do us a favor.

Bootsie: We want all our little friends to get our gigantic Valentines. (She indicates large boxes stamped with hearts. Ernest looks stunned.) But we're off on a luxury ski trip to Mount Poodle. So could you keep them here until the big Valentine picnic?

Ootsie: And then pass them out?

Ernest: Well, I'd be happy to.

Ootsie: (on a bone phone) Attention, all hands.

Bootsie: (also on a bone phone) Unload the Valentines! (a big hook unloads a single set of boxes out of the many)

Ernest: How do I know who gets what?

Ootsie: We put the names

Bootsie: on every box. Thank you, Mr. Otter!

Ootsie: Thanks a lot! (They speed away. Ernest is splashed.)

Ernest: Don't mention it.

(Scene change. Ernest is unloading the many Valentines.)

Peanut: Hi, Dad!

Flick: Hello, Mr. Otter.

Jelly: What's that stuff?

Ernest: Ootsie and Bootsie left their Valentines for me to pass out at the big picnic.

Jelly: Wow! These are gigantic.

Peanut: Wonder what's in 'em. Babbleberry candies, I hope.

Jelly: (holding up one of the Valentines, which are heart-shaped) Look, Peanut. Here's one with your name on it.

Peanut: And here's one for you, Jel.

Flick: Here's Munchy's. And Pinch's.

Jelly: Here's Butter's.

Peanut: Scootch's.

Flick: (grabbing and tossing aside many Valentines) Mine? Where's mine? Cheese and quackers, where is it?!

(Scene change. Flick and the others have apparently gone through numerous Valentines, but couldn't find Flick's.)

Peanut: I don't get it. There's gotta be a Valentine for you.

Flick: Huh. Right. There's "gotta" be. But we checked six times and there isn't.

Peanut: Sorry, Flick.

Flick: Hey, it's no skin off my beak. Who cares?

Jelly: You care.

Flick: Me? No way. Never! I'm glad I didn't get one. I don't like Valentines. (crosses his arms) Huh! (accidentally kicks against one of the boxes and starts hopping up and done, clutching his foot) Ouch! I gotta go. I'm late for my... foot doctor appointment.

Jelly: He's just pretending he doesn't want a Valentine.

Peanut: Yeah. And if the Snooties didn't give him one, we will. Come on.

Jelly: All right.

(Scene change. Focus in on the Otter family houseboat, where they're working on Valentines.)

Jelly: Butter, can you give me back my red crayon?

Butter: (giggles as she finishes her Valentine, then hands over the crayon)

Jelly: Thanks. I need this to write Flick's name on his Valentine.

Flick: Hey, you guys. What's up?

Peanut: Nothing.

Jelly: Yeah, nothing.

Flick: Are you sure?

Peanut and Jelly: Uh huh.

Flick: All that nothing you're making looks to me like Valentines.

Peanut: Well, maybe. Kind of.

Flick: Ya better not be making Valentines for me.

Jelly: How come?

Flick: (holding out his hand, closing his eyes and turning his head to the side) 'Cause I don't want any. Waste of paper, waste of paste, waste of doilies. Don't give me a Valentine. Ever.

Jelly: Maybe just a little one?

Flick: No. Tear it up. Throw it away. If you don't, I'll be mad at you past Hoohaw Halloween. (He stalks off.)

Peanut: He's just saying that.

Jelly: But do we give him one, or don't we?

(Slide wipe to Munchy, who is nibbling out wooden Valentines.)

Flick: Hey, Munch. What are you sinking your teeth into now?

Munchy: (holding a partially chewed Valentine) Uh, nothing.

Flick: (grabbing it) Let me see. It's a Valentine!

Munchy: (trying to grab it back) Maybe.

Flick: (letting go) Well, it'd better not be for me.

Munchy: (falling over because Flick suddenly let go) How come.

Flick: I don't like Valentines. (crossing his arms) They're for babies. Whatever you do, don't give me on.

Munchy: Well, okay. If that's what you don't want, that's what you won't get.

Flick: Good. That's what I want. (holding out his arms as if waving off the idea of Valentines)No Valentines.

(Scene change to Raccoon family houseboat. Pinch is taking some Valentine cookies out of the oven.)

Pinch: (singing) Will you be my Valentine? I'll be yours and you'll be mine.

Flick: Hey! My beak just sneaked the smell of cookies!

Pinch: Valentine cookies. My mom's helping me make them for the big picnic tomorrow. (She and her mom hug.)

Flick: (waving his arms) Warning! Important warning! Ya better not be making any for me.

Pinch: What did you say?

Flick: I said, don't give me cookie Valentines. (checking off on his fingers) Or paper Valentines, or wooden Valentines, Or any other kinda Valentines. (slams the door)

(Scene change. Mayor Jeff is giving direction to the Cranes, who are holding a large banner with a heart in their beaks.)

Mayor Jeff: Okay. Higher! Higher! (Flick peeks at the action from behind a bush.) That's perfect! Well, hello there, Flick. Did you come to help us get ready for the big picnic?

Flick: (folding his arms behind his back) Uh, no, Mayor Jeff. I, uh, can't. Gotta go..home. Right now. (dashes off)

Mayor Jeff: Well, be sure to come back tomorrow! This'll be the best Valentine's Day Lake Hoohaw has ever had. (The Cranes drop the banner on top of his head.)

(Scene change. Flick is at home in his bedroom, looking at himself in a handheld mirror.)

Flick: So, Flick, can you go to that picnic? No way. Not when everybody else'll get Valentines and I won't. Oh. So, tell me, what can I do? What?! (starts pacing) Need an idea. A brilliant idea. Maybe I should use my noodle. (stops pacing) Hey, you're right! I knew I could count on me. We'll do a Noodle Dance.

(He starts tapping his forehead and the Noodle Dance music starts. The Noodle Dance background appears.)

Noodle, noodle, do the Noodle Dance

Use your little ducky brain

Flick: We got it! I'll build a big, gigantic rain machine and rain on the picnic so they don't have one.

(In Flick's fantasy sequence, a rain-making machine flies overhead and douses everyone with rain. It knocks down the banner.)

Peanut and Pinch: Huh?! Ahhh! (They run off. End of fantasy sequence.)

Flick: But then nobody else would have any fun. Keep thinkin'. Maybe I could pretend to be sick. Then, I wouldn't have to go.

(He imagines himself with a compress on his head and a thermometer in his beak, all the way to the top.)

Mrs. Duck: (holding out a spoon of medicine) Here you go, Flick.

Flick: Bleh! (end sequence) Ugh. Sick is no fun. Maybe I could run away.

(He imagines himself on a train, at sunset, playing a harmonica, a small sack tied on a stick. In the distance, a wolf is shown howling.)

Flick: No. Mom would be sad. And it would be too lonely. The only Valentine I'd get would be from myself. (ding sound) Hey, that's it. Whoa! I could send myself some Valentines. Dozens. Hundreds. Woo-hoo!

(Slide-wipe to Flick's kitchen, where he's now at the table, making himself Valentines.)

Mrs. Duck: Hi, Flick. Ooh, you're making Valentines for all your friends. (hugging him) Aren't you thoughtful and sweet?

Flick: Uh, Mom, these aren't for my friends.

Mrs. Duck: Then who are they for?

Flick: W-well.. me.

Mrs. Duck: You're giving all those to yourself. But why?

Flick: Because I'm not gonna get any from anybody else.

Mrs. Duck: That's silly, Flick. Of course you'll get Valentines.

Flick: Not now. I talked to Peanut, I talked to Jelly, I talked to everybody. I told them I didn't want any Valentines.

Mrs. Duck: Flick, honey, it might have been better to tell your friends how you really felt.

Flick: Oh. That's too hard.

Mrs. Duck: Well, it is hard, Flick. But it sounds to me like not telling your friends how you feel is making you one miserable duck.

Flick: Yeah, you're right. After what I told everybody, the only Valentines I'll get are my own scribbly ones. Hmm.

Mrs. Duck: Well, cheer up. You can still go the Valentine picnic and have lots of fun.

Flick: Fun? Now? You're kidding, right?

Mrs. Duck: It's always more fun to give Valentines than to get them.

Flick: Even ones that are scribbly?

Mrs. Duck: Well, you'll find out tomorrow.

(Scene change to the next day. Mayor Jeff is standing in front of the banner.)

Mayor Jeff: I hereby declare that the Hoohaw Valentine's Day Picnic is about to begin. 1 2 3...

Mayor Jeff, Peanut, Butter and Jelly: Happy Valentine's Day! (all cheer)

Jelly: Hey!

Peanut: Hey, Flick.

Flick: (pulling out three Valentine cards) They're kinda scribbly. Go ahead, laugh at 'em. Happy Valentine's Day, Peanut. Happy Valentine's Day, Jelly and Butter.

Peanut: Thanks, Flick.

Jelly: Yeah, thank you.

Butter: 'ank you.

Flick: I know you won't give me any back because I asked you not to.

Peanut: Yeah, you did.

Flick: Well, I didn't really, really, exactly kinda mean it. But next year I won't do that, so you can give me Valentines then?

Jelly: (reaching behind her back) You won't have to wait till next year. Here. (Both she and Peanut present cards.) Happy Valentine's Day, Flick.

Peanut: Happy Valentine's Day, Flick.

Flick: Hmm? Wow. You made me Valentines after I told you not to.

Jelly: We really, really kinda sorta didn't believe you.

Peanut: We knew you'd really feel just as good about getting ours as we feel about getting yours.

Pinch: (approaching with her cookies) Happy Valentine's Day, Flick.

Flick: Wow, Pinch, thanks. You didn't believe me either?

Pinch: (shaking her head) Nope.

Munchy: Me neither.

Flick: Huh?

Munchy: Happy Valentine's Day.

Flick: Man, thanks. And here! I got Valentines for you guys, if you don't mind scribbly. (sound of horn honking)

Ootsie: Flick, we found it!

Flick: Huh?

Bootsie: Your Valentine!

Ootsie: It fell behind the thousand inch plasma screen TV on our limo boat. We came back early from our luxury ski trip

Bootsie: so we could be sure you got it.

(Ootsie pushes a button on the mini-car they're driving and a box unloads from a panel in the car.)

Ootsie and Bootsie: Happy Valentine's Day!

Flick: Thanks, guys. Am I lucky duck or what? Happy Valentine's Day right back at you. (hands them each Valentines)

Ootsie: These are great.

Bootsie: Scribbly is really in this year.

Jelly: Well, after all his worry, Flick got Valentines from everybody.

Peanut: And everybody got Valentines from Flick.

Jelly: But it sure woulda been easier if he hadn't tried to hide what he really wanted. You know, Flick, there's an old song that says it all.

Flick: Huh?

~ You Just Can't Hide Your Heart ~


You can't keep the sun from risin'

You can't keep good friends apart

Like a breeze that blows, everybody knows

You just can't hide your heart

[Peanut, Jelly, Munchy, Flick, Pinch, Ootsie and Bootsie]

You can't keep a creek from flowin'

You can't be somethin' that you're not

Ain't no doubt, you've gotta let you're feelings out

You know you just can't hide your heart


You can't keep the wind from blowin', heh heh


You can't keep a lid on a boilin' pot


A little candle glow has gotta shine, you know

[Ootsie and Bootsie]

You just can't hide your heart

[Peanut, Jelly, Munchy, Flick, Pinch, Ootsie and Bootsie]

You can't keep a creek from flowin'

You can't be somethin' that you're not

Ain't no doubt, you've gotta let you're feelings out

You know you just can't hide your heart.

(Scene change to the dock outside the Otter Family houseboat.)

Jelly: Ootsie and Bootsie's Valentine candy is delicious.

Peanut: Double delicious.

Butter: Yum yum.

Flick: (approaching, holding a long list) Hey, guys. Haven't finished your Valentine candy yet?

Peanut: Don't tell me you ate yours already.

Flick: Hours ago. Needed to get to work on this.

Peanut: What is it?

Flick: Your official reminder list. Keep it handy.

Peanut: (reading) "Flick wants birthday presents. Flick wants Hoohaw Hoo presents. Flick wants Hoohaw Halloween treats." (PB&J giggle.)

Jelly: Flick!

Flick: What? What, guys? Tell me, what?

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